If you are due to give birth soon or have just welcomed your little joy into the world then I couldn’t be happier for you.
It’s the most special time in the world but can also be quite an emotional time, full of ups and downs, and so I thought I would write you and your family a letter ❤️
You will have heard the phrase ‘The Baby Blues’ by now am sure but I have always felt this is such a negative phrase.
I like to picture a bridge, a bridge that Mummies will go over ‘post-birth’.
Your body has gone through so many amazing things and that body must return to normal.
Everyone will cope with this differently and this is where the bridge comes in!
Imagine a walk in the countryside with a whole heap of friends and family, you’re chatting away and come to a bridge…
Everyone needs to cross it to carry on the walk, some may see it as a bit of a challenge, some may hobble over it, some will run, some will not even know they have crossed it but if anyone on the walk was struggling you would hold their hand and help them over it.
It’s the same with having a baby.
Hopefully, these letters may explain things a bit more, and make life a bit easier.
Dear Mummy,
YOU ARE AMAZING!
You have just brought a little person into the world and that’s pretty cool.
What you might find though is you have mood swings after the birth, and this is not uncommon.
(You may feel overwhelming happiness, be irritable, weepy, sad, ecstatic, anxious, impatient, trapped or a whole host of mixed emotions).
In fact … 70-80% of all new mothers experience some sort of ‘feeling low’ after having a baby and it’s soooo common it’s considered normal, so really don’t worry if you feel like this.
Your body has some MAJOR adjustments going on.
Not only does it have to heal itself but it has pretty sudden hormonal changes happening.
You’ve had up to 100 times more Oestrogen floating around than you would do normally and this will come crashing down; at the same time as the new hormones you need to produce breastmilk (whether you decide to feed your baby yourself or not) are rising.
That’s a lot for a body to cope with.
Because this is happening so rapidly it’s enough to make you feel not yourself (hence the ‘Blues’).
I’m hoping by reading this you will understand why you might be feeling the way you are, and not put pressure on yourself.
These changes are going to happen whether you like it or not but if you are feeling out of sorts then you should be back to normal soon.
What can you do to help this?
Be proud of yourself, be very proud, you’ve just had a baby and that’s incredible.
Give yourself time, there will be new adjustments and routines, your body is healing AND you’ve just gone through a life-changing event!
Don’t despair if you think you are getting into some sort of routine and then your baby changes overnight, they too are having both growth spurts and brain developments going on and may retreat backwards briefly.
You will be tired and exhausted, but it won’t last forever.
Accept offers of help, you’re not Superwoman, even she would struggle to have a baby and carry on doing all she was doing!
Trust your instincts, even if they go against what everyone else is telling you.
Look after yourself, rest when you can, try and eat healthily and get some fresh air, it really will help.
Be honest. If you are having a bad day then say so and you might find visitors leave you for a bit, someone may make a meal or just generally give you time.
Be kind to yourself, it does NOT mean you aren’t coping if you have bad days, you’ve started a new chapter in your life and you’re just getting used to things, just like starting any new ‘job’.
Have a good cry, it’s a great way to release some of those hormones (equally have a good laugh, get a funny movie on, and switch off!)
There is no right or wrong way to be a Mummy and you will both find your way together, just be gentle with yourself 💗
With love,
Hils x
Dear family member, partner, friend,
Look after her 💗
This person you adore will probably need your love and support more than any other time in her life.
Hormones are cascading all through her body right now and so if she’s not acting herself then bear with her!
(And usually on top of very little sleep.)
It can be very confusing feeling sad or low when you’ve had such an exciting thing happen; and even though the love will be so strong for this tiny new person it doesn’t stop her feeling this way.
How can you help?
Be kind; the best treatment just now is support from loved ones.
Be sympathetic; she’s got a lot going on right now.
Listen to her; ask her how she’s feeling, and if you can do anything.
Tell her what a great job she’s doing; she will need reassurance.
Be tactful; this isn’t the time to share your views on how things should be done or were done in ‘my day’! New mums can be oversensitive due to all the fluctuating hormones, so use as much tact as possible.
Be understanding; if she cries because the baby is so completely adorable or her coffee is cold (yes, it can be anything that could set her off) then that’s just normal.
Enjoy this special time with your new little joy and thank you for looking after her.
With love,
Hils x
